I. Envision

Introduction

Our ability to envision something before it becomes reality holds tremendous power, especially in shaping the relationships we truly desire. It only takes a spark of imagination to picture the connection you long for, but the impact of this simple act is profound and life-changing. By envisioning your ideal relationship—how it feels, how it functions—you establish a standard for both yourself and your partner to aspire to. This clarity serves as a roadmap, guiding your actions and choices, and invites the world to rise to this higher level of connection. Without a clear vision, we’re left just guessing, uncertain of what’s possible. But with it, we unlock the potential to create relationships that are deeply fulfilling and authentically aligned with who we are.

You Can Have A Perfect Relationship

To many people the word ‘perfect’ is an off-putting word. In a world of imperfections how could of all things a relationship be perfect? It seems ludicrous to even posit the idea. I get it. But I’m here to tell you that against all odds–a relationship can be perfect. 

The reason it can be is because you are perfect. And I’m not talking about the pseudo perfectionism that narcissists peddle. I’m saying at your core essence, you are perfect. You only have to accept it. 

So let’s start there, with you. If you can see yourself as perfect it will be easier to see the possibility of a relationship as perfect.

In this exercise, my goal is to broaden your scope of what it means to be human. The human experience, to most, feels entirely imperfect–you have your fights, your heartaches, your misunderstandings that are consistently convincing you of this every day, non-stop. It seems no matter what you do, imperfection is inevitable. ‘There’s no escaping it. Just learn to love it.’

Yet despite our reluctance to accept that we are perfect, you’ll still find us secretly on a mission to prove it to others—or at least to prove we’re more perfect than we believe ourselves to be.

This pursuit often drives us to seek external validation, engaging in an exhausting game of cat and mouse with the universe, hoping that someday someone will finally say, “You’re perfect just the way you are.” But even when that moment comes, it oddly fails to stick. We get a promotion at work, and almost immediately, we start worrying about how we’ll mess it up. It often seems that the more validation we receive, the deeper our doubts grow.

Today, I invite you to pause, step back, and consider a radical concept—one so profound it can revolutionize how you see yourself and the world around you. This mindset holds the power to cut through life’s struggles, instilling unshakable strength, confidence, conviction, and true autonomy. With this shift, every relationship challenge becomes solvable, and the relationships you once thought impossible suddenly come within reach. Please read on carefully…

Here it is: Our resistance to seeing ourselves as perfect doesn’t stem from ‘being one who makes mistakes’. Afterall, that is a product of being human, inherent to everyone—”to err is human”. Our resistance actually comes from the way we enmesh our very identity with those imperfections. 

In other words, we identify so strongly with our imperfections that they come to define who we believe we actually are. And when you’re limited to your imperfections, the possibility for growth is severely impaired.

For many of us, this enmeshment process creates personas that sound like: “I’m a workaholic,” “I’m an addict,” “I’m avoidant.” These unconscious ways of being have us act out—to a tee—all of the behaviors, actions and thoughts of the assumed imperfect identity.

Those who might be partly aware of their invented ‘imperfect persona’, may seek to mask their identity so they appear perfect; behaviors like impostor syndrome, people pleasing and perfectionism (the problem is, it’s a hard act to maintain). 

Then there are others who seem to unknowingly or carelessly embody their imperfections, almost proudly, taking on roles like “the asshole”, “the angry, controlling boss”, “the narcissist”.  

So how does one go about untangling all of this mess? How do we go about claiming our inherent perfection and detach ourselves from our imperfect personas? How can we get ourselves to a place where we can say: ‘I am perfect’ and not cringe? And what could we create in our lives if we fully embraced that truth?

In the following exercise we will show you step-by-step how to disentangle your perfect self from your imperfect-persona and create the foundation for your perfect self to exist as your standard mode of being.

I. Envision